[WILBUR, spoken]
Aw, baby
Don't you realize come what may
You'll always be my joy buzzer, mm
(sung)
Styles keep a-changin'
The world's re-arrangin'
But Edna, you're timeless to me
Hemlines are shorter
A beer costs a quarter
But time cannot take what comes free

You're like a stinky old cheese, babe (Huh?)
Just gettin' riper with age (Oh)
You're like a fatal disease, babe (What?)
But there's no cure, so let this fever rage

Some folks can't stand it, say time is a bandit
But I take the opposite view
'Cause when I need a lift, time brings a gift
Another day with you
A twist or a waltz, it's all the same schmaltz
With just a change in the scenery
You'll never be old hat, that's that!
Ooh, you're timeless to me
[EDNA, spoken]
Oh, Wilbur!

(sung)
Fads keep a-fadin', Castro's invading!
But Wilbur, you're timeless to me
Hairdos are higher, mine feels like barbed wire
But you say I'm chic as can be!

You're like a rare vintage ripple
A vintage they'll never forget
So pour me a teeny-weenie triple
And we can toast the fact we ain't dead yet, ha!
I can't stop eating, your hairline's receding
Soon there'll be nothing at all
So you'll wear a wig while I roast a pig
Hey, pass that Geritol
Glenn Miller had class, that Chubby Checker's a gas
But they all pass eventually
You'll never be passé, hip hooray!
You're timeless to me

[WILBUR, spoken]
Oh, Edna baby, dance with me

[EDNA, spoken]
Oh, Wilbur
Oh, you make me feel like a girl again
[WILBUR, spoken]
Oh honey, show me the bumper

[EDNA, spoken]
Honey, I think my bumper's stuck in neutral

[WILBUR, spoken]
Well, don't break it, we may need it later

[EDNA, spoken]
What do you think of this one, big boy?

[WILBUR, spoken]
Woo, yes, yes, yes!

[EDNA, spoken]
Can you feel that all the way over there?
(sung)
You're like a broken down Chevy
All you need is a fresh coat of paint

[WILBUR]
And Edna, you got me goin' hot and heavy
You're fat and old, but baby, boring you ain't!

[WILBUR & EDNA]
Some folks don't get it, but we never fret it
'Cause we know that time is our friend
And it's plain to see that you're stuck with me
Until the bitter end
And we got a kid who's blowin' the lid
Off the Turnblad family tree

[EDNA]
You'll always hit the spot, big shot!
You're timeless to me

[WILBUR]
You'll always be du jour, mon amour
You're timeless to me

[EDNA]
You'll always be first string

[WILBUR]
Ring-a-ding-ding!

[WILBUR & EDNA]
You're timeless to me

[EDNA, spoken]
Wilbur, maybe you should pull a shade
(sung)
You're timeless to me

[WILBUR, spoken]
Aw baby, you're teasing me

[WILBUR & EDNA]
You're timeless to me

[EDNA, spoken]
Wilbur, let's take this upstairs

[WILBUR & EDNA]
You're timeless to me

[EDNA]
Ah, cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha-cha