[Verse 1: Pan Amsterdam]
The dog barks leaving no marks
Calvin's got a job, but mine is at the golden archs
See I'm washing lettuce, soon I'll be on fries
Infiltrate your enterprise, laundering your franchise
Stop comparing the Macs and the Mcs
They both all beef patties special sauce, she'll be lovin' it
Real quick, got you soul searching for status causin' a glitch
Up in The Shire with Bilbo
Baggin' some gracefully aged female elves, no Frodo
New category recommended, yo
Gotta watch it on a different server, Firefox, not Chrome

[Verse 2: Open Mike Eagle]
Soft pants and nice-eyed sandals [?]
A short shelf life like the iPod Nano
No guns, no bodyguard ammo
Was raised on the indies like Johnny Gargano
I got the weed face as beat as a sweepstakes
Mass babyface, it's me in a knee brace
The size and shape could sleep in a briefcase
I teach great but don't like preppin'
Think a new thought every point oh five seconds
Small talk blows my brain to high heaven
Crazy as Oaktown's three five seven
Busy as the bars on the Cadillac Brougham
Tinted too, drive slow and hold with both hands
[Verse 3: Pan Amsterdam]
David Lopan, peasant magic
Aztec chin, parallel hands cause static
It begins
Up for grabs, turban on my Punjab
I stay protected so my wifey stays invested
Thin escape on a white horse
Mistaken for Falcor
Fitting, 'cause the next day I saw The Nothing
Brain blizzards and snow flurries
Stay in the courses if I'm Mister New York with no worries
Almost dyin' then walk home with diamonds on the soles of my shoes
Like Paul Simon with an African crew

[Verse 4: Open Mike Eagle]
I'm accidentally fashionable
Phone cameras on, my pants are bought off of Amazon
I'm sorry, boots, slide through the party cute
I'm at the barbecue drooling like Marmaduke
Or more like Clifford
Ate an apple to the core to absorb my liquor
Southside raised avoid Northside wiggas
Don't even wanna say that, but that's what it was
Take your shoes off [?] you're tracking in mud
Make plans, make money, make passionate love
Brown skin but I'm blacker the blood and brain pattern
Do us and rich folk even have the same Saturn?
My telescope can only focus on the hella broke