[Verse 1: Open Mike Eagle]
'Cause brothers looking like a criminal is probable cause
So if you black, you need to know all the applicable laws
I got a cop in my head and he stay on the beat
On duty 24 hours every day of the week
And when he blow his little whistle, I restrict myself
And when I'm walkin' in New York, I stop and frisk myself
And when it's time to make arrests, I don't resist myself
'Cause if I saw me in a lineup, I might pick myself
I ride clean but I still feel like I'm filthy as sin
'Cause I was raised thinkin' brown is the guiltiest skin
I got a cop in my head, so all the laws are inside me
Put on my turn signal, ain't nobody behind me
I buy weed with my cop and that's his personal hell
'Cause weed legal but I still feel like I'm going to jail
I live alone, making noise so my presence is known
Hoping he don't think it's a gun when I answer my phone
Officer Me

[Chorus: Open Mike Eagle]
Scared of the police, so I police myself (Officer Me)
Scared of the police, so I police myself (Officer Me)
I'm in custody but when will I release myself? (Officer Me)
He say it once and I don't make him repeat himself (Officer Me)

[Verse 2: MF DOOM]
Black has no standing at law
Whack, billy club bat to the jaw
They got the dogs and the gats at your door
If you're smart, get your ass on the floor
Yeah, villain within reason
No consumption, it's pig grilling season
Trees in black, white, Indonesian
You lackin' with no heat and it's freezing
Now send the cop in your head on a beer run
To see him die when he jump out your eardrum
It's even better than using a machine gun
After all, been dukin' him so long, it's been a mean run
A fleet of cars and three cribs redone
Don't touch the lawn and then pay the kid with the green thumb
They nervous like first time in a threesome
And shoot too early like precum
Yeah, pause, seem dumb
Sell 'em to hell, no refund
Profiled for a Philly and a down coat
Run through your mind, shooting unarmed brown folk
Bullcrap, you couldn't get out with cow soap
Like a rapper selling his soul and don't sound dope
All for naught, in the mall, he got caught
Crowd gathered like, "Yes, yes, y'all," an onslaught
[Chorus: Open Mike Eagle]
Scared of the police, so I police myself (Officer Me)
Scared of the police, so I police myself (Officer Me)
I'm in custody but when will I release myself? (Officer Me)
He say it once and I don't make him repeat himself (Officer Me)