Open Mike Eagle
Much Chubbier
[Verse 1: MC Frontalot]
Yo, billy goats like myself favor hillsides
We’re so good at going up them, it instills pride
And it feels right, posing on a peak
From up here, see into the end of next week
So I speak from observation, brothers: way over yon
There’s an incline that I like to picture us on
Got the greenest of the grasses that I ever beheld
With a breeze in our direction, I could tell by the smell
That we’ve never been fed how this hilltop could feed us
My bigger brothers, I dream of all three of us
Wandering yonder and filling our bellies up
But! Without us becoming deli cuts
In the process. This is the rub
Got a stream in between going glubbidy-glub
The only bridge over, infested by troll
Hunger in my belly’s got me ready, set, go!

[Hook: MC Frontalot]​ (x2)
Look at me, I could be much chubbier
If I could eat, you would see much chubbier me
And then I would be much chubbier
Look at me, I could be much chubbier
I’m so scrawny! Much chubbier
The goat behind me is chubbier
He’s much chubbier
[Verse 2: MC Frontalot]
Big buck big brother, you’re the tallest of all of us
You could skip the situation like a troll apologist
Non-confrontational, bypass the bridge
Ford the river, meet your brothers on the ridge (What a cinch)
But the kid and the buckling get it in that scenario
Two orders of cabrito by the scary moat
And I know biggest brother isn’t timid
Make short work: bridge troll, one minute
But check that bridge, it’s thin, it’s flimsy
That thing’s finished when you tussle, what a grim scene
Planks and ropes in the water, wave goodbye
And that’s two of us still going hungry tonight
So follow my lead, I got a notion to negotiate
"Yo, troll, ready up your dinner plate"
Not for me, though. I’m much too slight
Look and see! I’m the littlest, could barely fill a bite

[Hook: MC Frontalot] (x2)

[Verse 3: Open Mike Eagle]
He thinks I’m a plum fool, little does he know
He thinks he’s so smart, I think he’s a beanpole
Look at his chump chop, tiny and sinewy
His little hind legs, they remind me of centipedes
I wait for the real meat. That one’s a real geek
This little brainiac’s a waste of my appetite
And if he’s lying, well he’s got to come back tonight
I’ll play the bad karma coming back to bite
Here comes big bro, chubbier indeed
Succulent mutton putting my stomach in frenzy!
I’ve chewed enough wood. I’m hungry and won’t wait
An even chubbier brother, really? You don’t say!
If’n it’s untrue, I’m seeing you both ways
If he’s really chubbier, I’m feeding the whole day
I’m thinking of skirt steaks. My tummy starts rumbling
It feels like an earthquake... am I going berserk? Wait!
Ahhh!
[Outro: MC Frontalot]
Later, troll! Hey biggest brother, dry off, salad bar’s open

[Hook: MC Frontalot] (x2)