The thermometer ran out of numbers when it reached fifty degrees
I just laid down on the floor with a bag of frozen peas
We saw plumes of smoke rising in the distance from our balcony
I poured a glass of wine

Sucked the juice out of a kiwi, Catherine turned on the TV
They showed acres after acres of absolutely nothing
And then Stevie called and said, "Are you watching what I'm watching?"
I said, "I'm watching what you're watching but what is it I'm watching?"

The night before I had been bored, my legs had been restless
It was my birthday; I'd already opened up my presents
At the social club I met some friends who were friends with this girl
One by one they dropped off 'til it was just me and her
We made out in every bar in town
While the state of Victoria burned down to the ground

[Chorus]
And the sun rose over the city
The wind swept through the valley
You don't get over a broken heart
You just learn to carry it gracefully

The Edinburgh gardens offered some kind of shade
I would pick up some beers and head down there late
Watch the possums and listen to their growling banter
There was one I liked especially; I named her Sam, as in Samantha
I offered a slice of apple from my hand
She would sniff it, frown, and then lumber back to the trash can
I was going uphill on my Malvern Star when I was passed by a scooter
"You got a dollar or a cigarette? Hey, I'm talking to you, poofter!"
What I should have said was nothing, what I said was "Get lost!"
Next thing I'm upside-down with my bike in the dust
Spitting dirt all the way home
Cursing the very ground which I was chewing on

[Chorus]

And that's what it's like when you've had your heart broken
The world just shrugs its shoulders and keeps going
It just moves on in all its sadness and glory
Over dinner with a friend, I tell her my story
And as I finally put the book back on the shelf
She says, "Maybe it's time you take a look at yourself"

No one's born an asshole, takes a lot of hard work
But God knows I've worked my ass off to be a jerk
So many hands I've held while wondering why I felt nothing
And why when I let go of that hand I always start to feel something
Like a bottle smashed against my head
She said, "I wish you just would've cheated on me instead"

And loving without loving is always the worst crime
I know all the signs and signals cause now I've been on both sides
The way you choose your words, the limpness of your hand
I almost died when you introduced me as a friend
"How can you call me a friend?
If you don't love me then please have the dignity to tell me!"
But I never said any of that
I just shook that hand and looked down at the doormat
[Chorus]