I was blue and lonely, I couldn't sleep a wink
And I could only get unconscious if I'd had to much to drink
There was somehow, something wrong somewhere, and each day seemed grey and dead
The seeds of desperation were growing in my head
I needed inspiration, a brand new start in life
Somewhere to place affection, but I didn't want a wife
And then by lucky chance I saw [in] a special magazine
An ad. that was unusual, the like I'd never seen
"Experience something different with our new imported toy
She's loving, warm, inflatible and a guarantee of joy."
She came all wrapped in cardboard, all pink and shrivelled down
A breath of air was all she needed to make her lose that frown
I took her to the bedroom and pumped her with some life
And later in a moment that girl became my wife
And so I sit her in the corner and sometimes stroke her hair
And when I'm feeling naughty I blow her up with air
She's cuddly and she's bouncy, she's like a rubber ball
I bounce her in the kitchen and I bounce her in the hall
[And now my life is different since Sally came my way]
I wake up [in the] morning and have her on a tray
She's everything they say she was and I wear a permanent grin
And I only have to worry in case my girl wears pins