Describe yourself
Your leaves look shiny and sticky and dewy
But on second touch, they are fabric
Oh, eternal polyester
You are just a bouquet of cloth roses from Valentine's Day
A prized faux floral arrangement in a silent hotel lobby
But flowers wilt, and you will not
Would you bleed if I cut you?
Do you ever have to pee?
Do you have ears?
Do potted plants hear?
When will you realise I am a tourist?

Describe yourself
I've never had fun in my life
I mean, another thing is that I drink a lot of water
You know you like my artwork
Can you stop being my favourite person?
Let's see if you like my ex-boyfriend's face

Trust me, I'm a masochist
I'm amazing but I'm not a public figure
I love my height and I love my ass

Describe yourself
I want to binge on you like that cheddar popcorn
And for you to want to track my flights, to check my feed
I've had the avocado toast here one thousand times
And now you strike with your disgusting smile
I know your hands when you're excited
Like a child at Christmas or a teenager with a porno magazine
I want to be a pornographic Christmas tree
Describe yourself
Your beaches and your sand are too stiff
Too dry to form into a castle
But they look so smooth and squishy
Like my hands, cold and permy
From salty seawater, I could sculpt you
Into a suitable abode for collected seashells
Even if you would be washed away
You would have been a castle for a moment
And I know you would love to be a castle
You deserve to die in one, anyway