[Verse 1]
When I was eight years old, before puberty took hold, I thought I'd
End up beside a princess bride and love was indivisible
Never mind how my taste reflects a disturbing oedipal complex
It's not awkward, girl, the compliments are coming next
You're no witch, you're no wench, you're like Björk with better fashion sense
A phone, fifty cents and I'm building up my confidence
Respect to your work, you're an artist, I'm a silly jerk
I think that dynamic could work, so, work it

[Chorus]
I have a total crush on you, baby, and I can't let it go
(I can't let this go) Oh no
I have a total crush on you, (My baby) baby
(Baby) If only I could let you know

[Verse 2]
When we spoke, no joke I started shedding slutty girls
Like snakeskin my collection acquired through shallow misdirection
And as I drive tonight the west coast sky is daring me to try
I feel alive tonight with the possibility that I'm your guy
Though I suffer from dyslexia and mild manorexia
And my hair cannot commit to one popular genre of music
And though they all claim (Ha, they don't know me) that a girl can't take a boy's last name
Or end up divorced and estranged (I'm counting on you)
I'm counting on you (Oh!)
[Chorus]
I have a total crush on you, baby, and I can't let it go
(You're so fly! Oh!) Oh no
I have a total crush on you, (Ha ha ha ha) baby
(If only! Baby) If only I could let you know

[Bridge 1]
Your other suitors are no poets, they're only actors who can
Play guitar, have I won your heart?
They're not students or screenwriters, they're only models that they
Taught to read, love, would you agree? Yeah!

[Guitar Solo]
(And it sounds so sweet!)

[Chorus]
I have a total crush on you, baby, (Ha! Spectacular!) and I can't let it go
(I'm starting to crush the heck out!)
I have a total crush on you, baby (baby) baby
(Baby!) If only I could let you know (Oh!)

[Bridge 2]
I'm quite sure you love me, Sherri (Oh!)
I'm quite sure I love you too (So fly!)
We should make a verbal agreement to only kiss each other
Because one time, beneath the sky (Oh!)
Outside my New York pigsty
I saw a vision of you and I
Ha ha! Alright!
(Did it hurt when you fell from?)
[Outro]
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
La da-da da-da da-da
La da-da da-da
La da-da da-da da-da
La da-da da-da
Did it hurt? Did it hurt?
Did it hurt when you fell from heaven, girl?
Did it hurt...?