I was 21 with a monkey on my back
Mortality in my veins and no money in the bank
Dependency and my shame were the sum of what I had
It beckoned me to the edge and I was running off the plank
Started accepting that some comforts are lost for the climb
I dropped the habits that could run to the loss of my life
And I was thinking I'd be comfortably off within time
Right until I lost my lover, my job, and my mind


For all I did before I got here it still holds my mind
I've been trying to find
A reason not to leave it all behind
For you


Give me a fucking reason not to play the drunk this evening
I said I'd overcome the demons but I'm underneath them
Rose tinted memories of welcoming that sunken feeling
Facade's falling like it's Buster Keaton
Now I'm at a crossroads choosing what'll cost most
You beckon me and tell me that without you I will not cope
My captor's arms give me comfort like it's Stockholm
It's either that or riding to a world in which I've lost hope
Remember I went broke for you, undisclosed
To all outside our comfort zone
Spoke for me and wrote for me, how can I just cut the rope
When everyone apart from you just doesn't know
How it felt quietly hurling in my mother's home
Now it's feeling like I need you more than ever
Lost too much to know if I can keep it all together
You can see the tension that I'm feeling on my tether
And you could hit my liver just releasing all the pressure

How you coping, now you know it's just on you to fight
No space to lean on anything that used to be your life
It was easy when you were wasted drinking up all night
You're craving now but that would break you too


For all I did before I got here it still holds my mind
I've been trying to find
A reason not to leave it all behind
For you