[Verse 1]
The octopus in your purse
Is cursing like an evil sailor
But remember, the knife is worse
For the editors of movie trailers

[Chorus]
And if you want me to, I'll help
It's all the same to me
Just tell me if you want me to

[Verse 2]
If you keep killing God in your eyes
People will think you're really callous
But no matter how hard you try
You'll never be as weird as Uncle Alice

[Chorus]
And if you want me to, I'll help
It's all the same to me
Just tell me if you want me to

[Bridge]
I'm not upset, just confused
And it's so tough
I can't relate to this world
I'm not bored enough
Watch out, the music will complete the change in you
[Verse 3]
To sing this song in braille
You have to be haunted by glass freckles
And if your color treatment fails
Well, you can always talk to Erik Eckles

[Chorus]
And if you want me to, I'll help
It's all the same to me
Just tell me if you want me to
If you want me to