[Verse 1]
Laura calls me
In the middle of the night
Passes on her
Fateful information
Then these careless fingers
They get caught in her vise
Till they're bleeding
On my coffee table

[Chorus]
Living alone isn't all that it's cracked up to be
Oh, oh, oh
I'm on her side, why does she push the poison on me?
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[Verse 2]
Laura has a very hard time
All her life has
Been one long disaster
Then she tells me
She suddenly believes
She's seen a very good sign
She'll be taking
Some aggressive action
[Chorus]
I fight her wars while she's slamming her doors in my face
Oh, oh, oh
Failure to break was the only mistake that she made
Oh, oh, oh, oh

[Bridge]
Here I am feeling like a fucking fool
Do I react the way exactly she intends me to?
Every time I think I'm off the hook
She makes me lose my cool
I'm her machine
And she can punch all the keys
She can push any button I was programmed through

[Verse 3]
Laura calls me
When she needs a good fix (ah)
All her questions
Will get sympathetic answers
I should be so immunized
To all of her tricks (ah)
She's surviving
On her second chances

[Chorus]
Sometimes I feel like this godfather deal is all wrong
Oh, oh, oh
How can she hold an umbilical chord for so long?
Oh, oh, oh, oh
[Bridge]
I've done everything I can
What else am I supposed to do?
I'm her machine
And she can punch all the keys
She can push any button I was programmed through

[Verse 4]
Laura (Laura) loves me (loves me)
Even if I don't care
That's my problem
That's her sacred absolution
If she had to
She would put herself in my chair (self in my chair, ah)
Even though I faced electrocution

[Outro]
She always says I'm the best friend that she's ever had
Oh, oh, oh
How do you hang up on someone who needs you that bad?
Oh, oh, oh, oh