Look I ain't being racist
But have a look around at what this place is
I mean the flag is red and white but I don't see no pink faces
They don't wanna integrate is the issue it's blatant
I know talking straight is rare when primary schools have translators
But let's face it

This fucking country's gone down the shitter
Immigrants nick our jobs and impregnate our sisters
Willing to work for pittance and quicker to chirpse your mrs
When I can't get a job or my good old British dick sucked

Still free money and housing, it takes the piss bruv
Crying about asylum they're seeking and preaching Islam - if there's war in your country it's not our fault is it?
Nah
And that Jamaican fella Mandela's a terrorist bruv
So now all them black fellas think they're heavy Gs, selling weed, rioting, can't even score at penalties
At school they do terribly but it's a sly act, they can write tight rhyme lyrics to make my son act black
Good at maths and fractions when it comes to selling crack to Somalian's doing voodoo sucking on that fucking cat

The Turks sell heroin, Romanians are skets and thieves, we already know from cricket Paki's are enemies!
They kill their own daughters over a kiss - honour killing! all they want is bombs and fiddling kids
It's in their Quran to kill us, them Hindus Sikhs should go back to Pakistan where they gangbang their sisters
It takes the mick, by which I don't mean them IRA pricks
But they're calling me a racist! I try to be a patriot!
Paki's are terror-paedophiles, the Jews are reptiles, the recession was the Rothschild's greed gone wild!
I will not smile while Britannia gets spit roasted!
Brits have hosted aliens and now we've blown it
Apologising for the empire, guilty ghosts have poked and coaxed us into losing all that's close to us
It's bollocks, mate!
The darkies are glad we had the colonies
We only borrowed cotton and modernised their economy
Gave the knobs democracy, built them railways

Drew cubist Middle Eastern borders that were fail safe
Educated them in the ways of the great race
Even paid for their vacations and in those great days we bonded
Through labour; We made Jamaica
Took Africans on a cruise there, didn't even make you pay bruv!
Indians to everywhere, Africa and Malaysia
They didn't even know about cricket - we trained ya

Made them our fond pets, and of course it's nonsense that we gave them all an inferiority complex
Or horribly tossed them into poverty fostered communalism, or pulled a resource robbery on them 'cus honestly:
From Kashmir and Palestine to Scotland, mate, all they wanna say is thanks
Big up the monarchy!

'Cus we brought 'em back to our shores, taken 'em in
And now they trying to put their black sperm on Kate Middleton
They're sick, mate
Illiterate, with benefits in brick laying, kicking of in Bradford, picking on the poor BNP
Demonstrating in Luton to devastate the community, The EDL bravely fell and now they've cleared the way to London
Riz is getting paid up in Wembley
Chicken and chips, liquor and cigarettes is what they trade
I had a bit of curry; it's a recipe for heart disease
Revenge is sweet. It's a conspiracy, making Brits obese

So chicks will dig their skinny limbs
Unzip their jeans they'll stick it in
Corrupt our breed, they're on it mate
Plotting since 1948
Until they tan the Union Jack like it's on holiday
So watch it mate

They're out to fuck our sisters in a pool club
Infiltrating the borders
Shops on all of the corners
They wanna see Sharia law enforced on us all
'cus their daughters are awful whores
But still, go clubbing to lure them

They run the hospitals from sweeping the floors to doctors so called underpaid, playing the paupers
So when it all kicks off and there's war they won't treat us, they'll say the paracetamol's all gone
Caribbean and the Middle Eastern hordes are selling us draw, kebabs and helping Man City score
They're so determined that them immigrants thought that they should be more hidden so they painted their paws white
Fucking Eastern Europe, now we've opened the door they're all building loft extensions we can afford

It all started with Mosques, false visas, black barber shops, polski skleps
We have been invaded whilst we slept, soon Eastenders will be set in Abdul Square
I wanna rediscover all our national flare
I wonder how it was when we all had blonde hair- yeah, [?] I'll google our history
Wait- what the fuck? The English were Picts and Celts originally
Irish and Welsh types in kilts, you're fucking kidding me
Sheep shaggers and haggis?
Wikipedia: delete

Then came Italians, slick and slippery
Roman invasion, Inter-Milan and Celtic interbreed
But at least they were white, not Asian and poor
Wha- a North African legion guarded Hadrian's Wall?

This is disturbing right, and then came the German tribes
-Fucking Hitler did us in before he was even alive!
Tribes called Angles, Saxons and Jutes
What a scandal, who knew we'd already lost World War II?

Then Viking invaders pounded the north and the east
-I knew it, them Geordies always sounded foreign to me
But the saddest revelation is this Battle of Hastings...
Somebody called Norman came and gave us a pasting
1066 these French sissy pricks all conquered us?
So fuck you William the Conqueror!

But the English language they started and laid the basis for Parliament
But that don't mean berets and garlic can ever be a part of us
Then William did something else "nice" for us too
Wanted business to boom so he invited the Jews!

From all over Europe they came, settled and spawned
But English blood can't be Jewish, otherwise... we'd have horns, right?

Shit, wait, I'm lost, so now we're Paddy Spaghetti Jew Kraut Viking Frogs?

Well, at least they're from white culture- wait...
Scientists find an ancient East African skull from before all this up in the North of England?
Well, that's written in The Guardian so of course it's fiction!
It's bad enough they had African drummers in Edinburgh in the 1500s
And Henry VII's trumpeter was a black man named John Black!
That still don't mean Dizzee Rascal should've done that fucking olympic rap

Then refugees, Protestants from Holland and France changed a lot of shit
Made society more advanced
Built churches, brought culture, they were nice weavers
Wait- they were basically asylum seekers!

This is a lot to digest on a night in
That great British culture is such a volatile thing
People stopping by on our Isle from horizons afar
So to get 'em back, we colonised them!

And though I don't really know who 'We' is
I know who the others are, 'cus we ruled their regions
Made engines and an empire that never ends
'cus of our Jew Kraut Paddy Dutch Frog intelligence

Britannia ruled the waves
And 'cus she was... cruel to slaves
Trading flesh paid the ways for our bestest days
Well alright okay, one percent of how many we sold can stay

Wait- if we did that it'd double the population?
Alright I take that back, sorry my mistake then
Luckily for now it's under .01
So let's call it quits yeah, any more we don't want

'Cus in the 1890s British didn't mean dark...
Apart from Indian MPs and Finsbury Park
The first black footballer and thousands of half and fully black kids born here back when slavery flopped

And hang about, 1.3 million Indians fought for us in WWI... brilliant!
I mean, silly them, and all the other troops and colonies
I wanna laugh, but the noise just won't come out properly

And after the wars when Britain was nearly killed off
We begged brown, black and Polish to come and rebuild us
Help them mother country, take factory jobs
And they did, Like a rush of wind in Tilbury docks

So I suppose I should be letting all these immigrants off?
And I suppose Britishness isn't the simplest pot
A lot of stuff's been mixed into it and pickled a lot
But those immigrants are different to all the new lot!

I mean, they're coming in bigger waves than the earlier hordes
Even if they aren't invading and starting as many wars...
And even if our DNAs like a bukkake in porn
There's one British tradition that will always remain pure

And that's being prejudiced against the immigrant scum!
Whether it's Paki, frogs, Vikings, or Ethiopian skulls
And when they end up a part of us and we all become one
We wait till the next lot try coming along

And when they do, my Somali Polish kids will be pissed
At all these immigrants coming over and ruining shit
The red cross on the flag means no entry - duh!
Wait- what d'you mean Saint George was a Turk?