[Verse]
Please don't have to make me go into detail
When I say I came out of my dad's hole
Now I'm in a race with these tadpoles, speeding through the fallopian
I need to beat all the rest of these babies
Mum had a positive pregnancy test last week
Two months down the line I've got a heartbeat
But I got a piece of skin between my legs man, I can't be a daughter
I'm breathing, but I'm in a bag of water
Foods coming through my umbilical cord, the years 1-9-8-2
I can't wait to make my debut
I hope I got one of them good mums
Nineteenth day of the ninth my day comes
I finally come out after hours of trying
The nurse slap me, then I started crying
Couple hours later, I'm in a incubator
A bit bigger than an A4 sheet of paper
Loads of people kept coming up to me and saying "goo goo ga ga"
Why can they speak to me properly?
I'm a celebrity, get me out of here
Mum don't forget your Lucozade, flowers and your grapes
These giants keep coming in different sizes and shapes
And talking to me like I'm in the Planet of the Apes
But, it don't matter, I got the X-Factor
Even Simon Cowell knows I'm the best rapper
We left mother's hospital went to the flat in Old Street
Then my mum got cold feet
We had a problem, I kept climbing on the windowsill
So we moved to a house in Tottenham
Got chicken pox so we went to the surgery
Couple years past picky skin fade in nursery
Sitting in class playing with Fisher-Price tools
Two twos I moved to Primary school
I went to the school next door to Northumberland
My piece changed from a little hot dog to a Cumberland
Ready to feed it to the big chicks
Secondary school I was a bad boy at English
If you listened to Jungle you was top boy in form
Then all of a sudden some new music was born
[Outro]
I need to, have a name or something
This Machino Joe shit ain't the one man
What should I change my name to?
I need to be a king in this, or some kinda like wizard or something
Yeah yeah, Sceptre, Sceptre
Yeah Sceptre on the mic
Nah nah nah
I need to change the spelling of that
Wait
S-C, no
S-K-E, S-K-E-P-T-A
Skepta, Skepta
Yeah that's me blud
Skepta, whut
(Big boy soldier, Skepta, Skepta, Skepta)
S-K-E-P-T-A, yeah
(Serious, big boy soldier)