[Verse 1]
When lost in the wild rain there is nothing you can do
When lost in city rain there is something you can do
Take a refuge wherever’s marked "Admission Free"
As we did one night in late ‘63
I'd never seen the man on the poster before
But my friend said he was a big star before the war

[Verse 2]
The boy by the door, louder than a bomb
All the way down the street, you heard his song
"Roll up, roll up, tonight is the night
Freddy Fürst's gives his last will live on stage
Roll up, roll up, for the show of a lifetime
Doors open at quarter to 8"

[Verse 3]
Satin upholstery that was once brilliant
We picked it's loose stuffing and looked around
There were duchesses and dukes, and beggars and pimps
All sat side-by-side to watch his last grasp at life
The grand centrepiece was a gold-green sarcophagus
Flanked either side by oil paint pictures of the man
First of all, a film tried to explain his lifelong dream
Afterward, music started and a young girl ran on with operatic screams
[Verse 4]
Two hours went by and his sixty-five daughters
Who told, through opera, of his life's importance
They sang of his exploits all over the earth
His likes and his dislikes, his undoubtable worth
And after a last crescendo where they all cried as one
They harkened quickly off, but the music played on
From within the sarcophagus rose a spot-lit withered hand
Mister Fürst emerged, and to the racing beat he danced

[Verse 5]
With the vital energy of a newborn chimp
He spun and he spun and he spun and he spun
Hopelessly wrinkled and by no means thin
He soon became dizzy, and regained his composure
And opened his mouth to sing:

[Verse 6]
"Thank you for listening, I won’t be too long
Just twenty-seven questions to finish this song
Does there exist a marriage that can survive castration?
A future where a man can go a year without hydration?
Is grass ever greener?
Is the will really free?
Is it only black you see when you join the deceased?
Will I forever be a mediocrity
A hideous glut with trembling knees?
In death will I see the girls of daydreams
Intangibly dressed, invisibly seamed?
Will the sun burn out?
Will my corpse grow a beard?
Will my house be kept and my sperm be reared?
Will I shatter the big time, posthumous pace?
Will I find a home, or go to waste?
In Heaven, do the morals of the Earth still stand?
Or can I bridge the gaps betwixt beast and man?
Is there such a thing as a universal truth?
And a lost secret to eternal youth?
Do nuns fornicate and do the scientists pray?
Is a sin committed every moment of every day?
That’s not quite 27 but my chest feels awful tight
So thank you for listening
Good night, good night, good night"
[Verse 7]
Freddy Fürst blew up to the size of a hot air balloon
Red as all hellfire and loud a satan’s siren
And he wheezed and moaned in pain as he rose
But we all just laughed at the sad, old oaf
And laughed all the way home