[Intro]
Alright, boys and girls, gather around, because I have a song to sing for you and it is a GOOD song, so fuck off if you don't like it. (clears throat) Here we go
(violent scatting)
COME ON!

[Verse 1]
Who can take the sunrise
Sleep it all away?
Let the dark return
So I can log online and play

The tendy man
Oh, the tendy man can

[Verse 2]
Who can take a fandom (Whoo!)
Ruin it with his pride? (A-Ha ha ha ha!)
Swinging swords
And sniffin' seats
He does it all the time

The tendy man
Oh, the tendy man can

[Bridge]
The tendy man can
'Cause his parents pay the bills
So that his world stays good
[Chorus]
The tendy man makes
Every glove he takes
Woolen back
And fingerless
Mountain Dew, Doritos chips
Chicken tendies, so delicious! (Woo!)

(harassment interlude) [spoken]
Ha ha! Hey, girl! How's it going?
Hello? You gonna answer me?
Fine, bitch! Hahahahaha!
You're a slut anyways
Fuck you! You piece of shit!

[Verse 3]
Who can take rejection
Make it not his fault?
Women, girls and females don't know what they're missin' on!
The tendy man!
"Why don't girls want nice guys like me?"
The tendy man can cause he's fuckin' dumb and fuck the tendy man!
The tendy man!