[Verse 1]
My basement, uh
Gonna show you my beautiful basement
Where the concrete floor feels cool to the touch
I'll turn up the heat if it's too much
I'll turn on the light bulb on the wire
Turn on the dehumidifier
I'm serious when I flick this next switch
Look you in the eye, and I say "check this"

[Chorus]
My trains, uh
My trains, uh
I got small ones, tiny little trains
I come down here just to get away
My trains, ah!
My trains, ah-ah!
It's like magic, magic trains
I wish these trains could take me away

[Bridge]
Chugga chugga woo-woo
Chugga chugga woo-woo
Chugga chugga woo-woo
Chugga chugga woo-woo
[Verse 2]
In the club, the Model Railroad Club
A motherfucker said shit about my trains
Might as well have took a shit on my brain
'Cause I went insane
I laid track on his ass with a styrofoam bat
But the president never did let me back after that
Shit, I said, "Fuck you
Who the fuck needs a punk ass choo-choo crew anywho?"

[Chorus]
My trains, uh
My trains, uh
I got small ones, tiny little trains
I come down here just to get away
My trains, ah!
M-m-m-m-my trains, ah-ah!
It's like magic, magic trains
I wish these trains could take me awa-a-a-a-a-a-a-a

[Bridge]
Chugga chugga woo-woo
Chugga chugga woo-woo

[Verse 3]
I lie here every night
I feel like if I focus
And think of getting smaller
I'll gradually get smaller
And if I get small enough
My trains will seem much bigger
And I'll be the conductor
The tiniest conductor
Oh, then whatchu gonna do?
Then whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna do then, huh?
Whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna do?
Whatchu gonna do when I'm fucking small
Like one inch tall
You won't see me coming at all
When I crawl into your ear late at night
Yeah, you heard me right motherfucker, sleep tight
And you think I'm just another bad dream
But I'm a tiny little man in your bloodstream
Little hands hold an artery shut
Yeah, that's right motherfucker, then what?

[Chorus]
My trains
My trains
My trains, uh
My trains, uh
I got small ones. Tiny little trains
I come down here just to get away
My trains, uh
My trains, uh
They're like magic. Magic trains
I wish these trains could take me away
(chugga chugga woo-woo)
My trains
(chugga chugga woo-woo)
My trains
(chugga chugga woo-woo)
My trains
(chugga chugga woo-woo)
My trains