[Verse 1]
Sunday nights that you want her
Like velvet cake
Sweetheart can bargain
Half-price mistakes

[Verse 2]
She will go down with her ship
Like a good captain
You're sitting on the dock
Playing for an audience of one
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh

[Verse 3]
Pacing your apartment
Linoleum floors
Get a call from an old friend
She never liked them before

[Verse 4]
He will drive all over three lanes
You sit tight, shotgun
Windshield wipers waving for an audience of one

[Verse 5]
You came out from the country
Wearing mama's clothes
You were born in the city
Daddy's dominos
[Verse 6]
You need a record you can move to
Well we got one
Drop the needle
We are playing for an audience of one
Drop the needle
We are playing for an audience of one

[Bridge]
One gets all of you
Two's jealous
Three gets even less
Four divides you up then you're left
Pleasing all your guests

[Verse 7]
Reach out your pointer finger
And touch the globe
Spin it round and where it stops
You've got to pack your bags and go

[Verse 8]
Land in the Mojave Desert
Sing for the sun

[Outro]
Three's too many when you're playing for an audience of one
Two's too busy when you're playing for an audience of one
One is the only way you're playing for an audience of one
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh
Ooh, ooh