[Verse 1]
I can argue with the mime
I can argue with the mime
He is reading me the Riot Act
Every line

[Verse 2]
Every lawyer in his prime
Every lawyer in his prime
Gets nostalgic for the bar's
Naivete to crime

[Chorus 1]
Ascetics wring their hands
This decadent misuse
Inside my china room
You are my coffee spoon

[Verse 3]
My indulgence is a joke
And while everybody laughs
I'm clipping coupons
And saving my breath

[Verse 4]
I was celebrating Lent
With a candle in a tent
When you came and snatched me up
Out of retirement
[Chorus 2]
Now I'm buying finer clothes
In department store windows
Throwing credit cards down
I never raise my voice
I never raise my voice

[Chorus 1]
Ascetics wring their hands
This decadent misuse
Inside my china room
You are my coffee spoon