[Intro: Spoken]
This song... there's actually a cool story behind this song
I was in San Fransisco, and um, I was walkin' down the street, I think I hit a subway
And on the way back to the venue, I had this tune in my hand that was like if you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
So it was kind of a cool idea, so, I brought it back to, um, the green room where Jack was sitting
And I said "Jack, check out this idea" and I sang it to him
And Jack said "That's a fuckin' terrible idea"
To make a long story short, some of the best songs are the ones where you just repeat the same shit over and over and over again
Hence Kick Me, shit shit fuck fuck kick kick, easy, still doin' it
This song's called "If You Can't Hang"
Thank you for comin' out tonight, Orlando, we love you guys so much

[Verse 1]
Met a girl at seventeen, thought she meant the world to me
So I gave her everything, she turns out to be a cheat
Said she'd been thinking for a long time and she found somebody new
I've been thinkin' that this whole time
Girl, I never thought you'd stay, but that's okay
I hope he takes your filthy heart and then he throws you away someday
Before you go, oh-oh, there's one thing you oughta know
Lemme hear you

[Pre-Chorus]
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door
[Chorus]
I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take up all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time

[Post-Chorus]
You're the lowest type
You're the lowest

[Verse 2]
I met a girl stuck in her ways, found a boy she knew she'd change
Changed my clothes, my hair, my face to watch us go our separate ways
She said we've grown apart for sometime, but then she found somebody new
I hope Mr. Right puts up with all the bullshit that you do
Stay the hell away
While I sit here by myself, figure out how I got this way
Before you go, oh no, there's one thing you oughta know
Lemme hear you

[Pre-Chorus]
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door, baby
If you can't hang then, there's the door
[Chorus]
I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
Turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take up all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
Turned into a pretty big waste of my time

[Bridge]
I don't want to get things confused
She said she'd never settle for some boy she couldn't use
So now I gotta call the doctor, he can prescribe me medication
So I can deal with all the memories of bein' here this way

[Verse 3]
I met a girl at twenty-three, knew she meant the world to me
So I gave her everything, she did the same for me
Imagine that!
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty face
No, you're such a pretty, pretty face, woah, yeah
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty face
No, you're such a pretty, pretty face
One more time

[Chorus]
I don't wanna take your precious time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste of my time
I don't wanna take all your time
'Cause you're such a pretty, pretty, pretty, pretty face
But you turned into a pretty big waste, oh
[Outro]
You're such a waste, you're such a waste, a waste of my time
Thanks