My first name is a random set of numbers and letters
And other alphanumerics that changes hourly forever
My last name, a thousand vowels fading down a sinkhole
To a susurrus, it couldn't just be John Doe or Bingo
My address a made-up language written out in living glyphs
Lifted from demonic literature and religious text
Telephone uncovered by purveyors of the ouija
Then checked against the CBGB women's room graffiti
My social a sudoku, my age is obscure
My in-case-of-emergency is in the daisies chasing birds
Employed by trillionaires with perfect teeth and pores
And people who open doors for the people who open doors
My medical history is a course at SUNY Buffalo
Charlatan psychiatry and troubleshooting undertow
Nervous in the service still, I'm burger meat and purple pills
"Here," "Thank you, we'll call your name," "Sure you will."
You pack up all your manias, you're sitting in the waiting room
You're dreaming of arcadia, you're feeling like a baby tooth
Awaiting panacea, channeling your inner Beowulf
In purgatory, just before you pay up to filet yourself and others
In the name of help, coal on a conveyor belt
Into ego death alone, no telephone from Gabriel
I'm half a human, combin' over Home and Garden stoned
Gold chains over turtleneck, cigars over cologne
A thousand sh*tty paintings wrapped around a wounded animal
Woo him with the Schubert, he's a future human cannonball
Little f*ckers fighting, mother hiding in her Hulu
I'm climbing up the stucco, let's get to the seppuku, uh-oh
That pretty penny turned the prickly into Benji
If you save up all your winnings then you get to count your blessings
I finally crunched the budget up and punched the button
She called my name out and pushed me into an oven
She says, "I'm not your enemy."
I said, "That sounds like something that my enemy would say."
Instead of playing off the chemistry
She said, "You're being difficult." I said, "I'm being guarded
You're a quarter-mil in debt, I get more guidance from my barber
Look, I'm not good at this, I grew up in a noogie-fest
You built your walls up high
Or said goodbye to all your Cooky-Puss
Here's one: every time my telephone buzzes
I see images of hooded riders setting fire to hundreds."
She said, "When you start getting all expressive and symbolic
It's impossible to actualize an honest diagnostic."
I said, "When you start getting all exact and algebraic
I'm reminded it's a racket, not a rehabilitation."
Okay, agree to disagree as grown-ups from opposing clans
Honoring the push and pull, I should've called the Scholomance
Oh well, preservation is a doozy
"Will you be needing another appointment?" "Absolutely"