Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas day
They groped her breast and manhandled her hoo-ha
They outta be arrested, TSA

Her metal hip set the alarm off
So they had to pat her down
But they patted her so roughly
That her depends underwear fell to the ground
She never felt so violated
And when they ended they're attack
There were glove marks on her buttocks
And incriminating latex in her crack

Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas day
They groped her breast and manhandled her hoo-ha
They outta be arrested, TSA

They made her take her wooden leg off
And remove her purple wig
They confiscated all her prune juice
As they rummaged through her luggage like a pig

Now grandma’s cherub-like demeanor
Had quickly turned into a funk
She saw them cuppin' grandpa's balls and wiener
Raised her cane and shouted out
"DON’T TOUCH HIS JUNK!"
Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas day
They groped her breast and manhandled her hoo-ha
They outta be arrested, TSA

Now grandma's flight had left without her
And she was left in misery
Holding her wig her leg her undergarments
And what was left of her civil liberties

So show the TSA your ta-tas
Let 'em grope your daughter and your son
If we fall in line and get stripped of our freedom
Then we know
THAT THE TERRORIST HAVE WON!

Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas day
They groped her breast and manhandled her hoo-ha
They outta be arrested, TSA

Grandma got molested at the airport
Flying home to our house Christmas day
They groped her breast and manhandled her hoo-ha
They outta be arrested, TSA