Xx

Y'know what? Love is evil, what's the worth?

The hate I have for it - I'm tryna put it into words

When it's requited, it works. If not, it just hurts

And I'm so unloved that for me it's a curse

I'm sick of bein' second thought, I wanna be first

I'll no longer tolerate being treated like dirt

I'm a boy so from a young age I have learnt

To conceal what I feel but I'm going to burst

I didn't have to flirt and I was never a jerk

But still ended up getting shit I didn't deserve

6 months and I'm still not seeing the perks

I'm gurt by mates in relationships so I always come third

It took a year to get rid of the nerves

To tell you how I felt and now their

Uprising from the dark where the lurked

Heartbreak, I'm all too aware of the word

This verse is gonna be deep so sit back and observe

Got me thinking that I'm weak cos I'm still destroyed

You got me under your control like a windup toy

Remember that time I went up to you to say hi and ask you

How you were and you acted like you were annoyed?

Why do that to the person who felt true?

And even true enough to open up and tell you

That brings me to the next thing

I'm so used to rejection and you're so used to rejecting

Then for like 5 days we suddenly stopped texting

I sat by my phone just waiting for the next ding

I loved you but so did like every single guy

So the emotions I had for you weren't special in your mind

I was stupid to think that it would work out

Cos you're way outta my league

But, hey, I'm proud I believed

So far I spent most of 2017

Hurting over you and forever shredding beef

Thought you were an angel that heaven sent for me

And though you are an angel you were never meant for me

I guess there's no cheat code, things like this are painful

It was a gamble to put all my cards on the table

I should've folded but instead I payed to play

I'm outta chips now and I got this caving ache

In my head and still whenever I see your silhouette

My heart races, dances and starts doing pirouettes

Every memory I have of you is so picturesque

And my friends are always saying I should put this shit to rest

I knew you but never actually got to know you

So many parts of me I wanted to show you

But now I'm just amazed that this feeling fucking stayed

I guess that its stuck in place and I got so much to say

So I'm scribbling through a riddle or two

Got visions and views of all the times, can't get rid of the mood

Stuck in depression and I'm texting without thinking it through

Cos as it is I got so little to lose

I saw you cry once, remember the time?

I was worried sick about you and you said you were fine

Pretended like you thought you had to be strong for me

I was never strong for you and maybe that was wrong of me

Even when I hated you I tried to treat you properly

No, better than that, I saw you like a proper queen

Don't you fucking get it? Do you even understand?

You had value to me that I just can't describe with numbers, man

You lie all the time - just deceive and illude

I found myself pretending to believe it was true

Cos otherwise we'd beef and argue

And that meant I'd be giving up being with you

And what I speak is the truth, no second guesses

And if I get suggestive of having reckless sex

Better bet it represents this little reckless nest that these

Thoughts are stored in and how they get reflected

It's animalistic instinct, I hope it doesn't seem twisted

I hate this feeling and I'm gradually making peace with it

Toxic environment, thank god I can breathe in it

Looking at this chapter of my life thinking please finish

I just wanna give my emotions recognition

It may be cringe but it's my coping mechanism

The pain I went through I just hope its self-inflicted

Love is just a scam, I think you know the rest of this shit

I've never been the one to like a love song

But people have been asking me what the fucks wrong

And I've been asking myself where's the love gone

However I'm still addicted to you and I'm tryna to punch on

I don’t wanna say goodbye

Cos even the thought oughta make me cry

Cos you were the one I wanted to stay beside

From here onwards to the day we died

All the jargon that I was spoken with floatin’

Sparks and so I was hopin’ and aiming high

Throwin’ it under the carpet is maybe wise

I kinda hate it, Why? Was it waste of time?

Tryna paint the darkness, taint and mark it

Overlay the skies for the sake of makin’ this situation bright

Lay the tarp, broken-hearted, emotive artist

Dopey half-wit, this pain inside

Will start to slope and I can hardly cope

But I just wanted to see how far we’d go

I'm suffering badly from this scenario

The pain ain't gonna outlast me though