Eric Idle
Diva’s Lament (Whatever Happened to my Part?)
[LADY OF THE LAKE]
Whatever happened to my part?
It was exciting at the start
Now we're halfway through Act II
And I've had nothing yet to do
I've been offstage for far too long
It's ages since I had a song
This is one unhappy diva
The producers have deceived her
There is nothing I can sing from my heart
Whatever happened to my part?

I am sick of my career
Always stuck in second gear
Up to here with frustration and with fears
I've no Grammy, no rewards
I've no Tony Awards
I'm constantly replaced with Britney Spears
Britney Spears

Whatever happened to my show?
I was a hit, now I don't know
I'm with a bunch of British Knights
Prancing 'round in wooly tights
I might as well go to the pub
They've been out searching for a shrub
Out shopping for a bush
Well they can kiss my tush
It seems to me they've really lost the plot
Whatever happened to my—
I'll call my agent, damnit—
Whatever happened to my—
Not yours! Not yours!
But my part!