Professor Elemental
Sky Sharks
[Professor Elemental, Spoken]
Calling Steam Powered Giraffe! Calling Steam Powered Giraffe! This is Professor Elemental on the emergency alert frequency. We are being invaded by sky sharks. Repeat, London is being invaded by sky sharks! It's only a matter of time before they get to my house! Help us, Steam Powered Giraffe, you're our only hope!
[S.P.G., Sung]
Down from the sky
Go run and hide
From their catastrophic path
Big teeth in jaws, that’s what we saw
And now they’ve chomped my car in half
They fly in the sky
They look totally crazy
Their wings are superimposed
What kind of god is so lazy
How can we hide?
How can we survive
Flying cartilaginous genocide?
So be wary of the Sky Sharks
They want to nom on your blood
If you want to have a future
Heed my warning or you'll lose it
And please avoid their dreaded eye ray
Run and hide and fight another day
Practice cardio, increase your pace
Preserve your human race
Let's run away
Yes, let's run away
The Sky Sharks are here to stay
Now they’re eating all our fried fish
And all the seafood that no one will miss
Hundreds of grandparents mourn the loss
Of every Long John Silver tartar sauce
We tried to stop them but they’re too quick
Dodged every whiffle ball and wooden stick
Well what else can we throw their way
How ‘bout that copy of 50 Shades of Grey?
I wish there was a formula
Of extra-special things to drive them away
But instead we'll need some legs
So grab your sneakers and flee the fray
[Professor Elemental]
A reign of terror flying past
When I first heard I had quite a laugh
Look up in the sky, flying shark
Teeth like knives that bite in half
Things get weird. I take up the slack
I’m the man for the job or I’ll eat my hat
Laser-guided orcas live without water
Fitted with wings, engines, mortars
Old-fashioned grit and I fire like this
“Let me try” oh I insist!
Aim, fire, strike with a tiny risk
Oh blimey, spoke too soon, I missed
Shark repellent is ineffective
London's done for chums, I’ve wrecked it
Sharks are landing, grey and vicious
On the other hand this hat tastes delicious
[Rabbit]
Well, we’ve tried everything, what else can we do?
[Hatchworth]
I hear there’s still safe houses left in Old Peru
[Spine]
Please heed our warning, these sharks will never tire
[Hatchworth]
Wait a second, hold on, did anyone think about using… fire?
[Rabbit, Spoken]
Huh… fire. Hey Hatchworth, hand me that stick over there. Professor, do you have a lighter?
[Professor Elemental]
Oh yes I’ve got one here, there you go
[Rabbit]
Thanks. Back, back! That’s a bad sky shark! Back, back! Oh my gosh, it’s working! Ah it’s working, guys!
They’re leaving! We’ve done it! We’ve done it!
Spread the word, guys, they don’t like fire!
They hate fire, spread the word!
[S.P.G., Sung]
So be wary of the Sky Sharks
They want to nom on your blood
If you want to have a future
Heed my warning or you'll lose it
Please avoid their dreaded eye ray
Run and hide and fight another day
Practice cardio, increase your pace
Let’s preserve the human race
[Rabbit, Spoken]
And in the end, it was the most humblest of God's creatures that stopped the sky sharks. Why, it was none other than fire! The word spread to the farthest reaches of Earth, and humanity collectively burned down every f-forest on the p-p-p-planet. The Sky Sharks left, and the world was safe again, free to smolder in a charred, ashy ruin!
[Bystander]
Wait, what?