At last! A visitor, I'm pleased you've returned

I've secrets that you need to learn

Apologies, you had to use complex directions

But I'm currently avoiding arrest and detection

Expelled from the roll of clubs and societies

Been told I lack sanity – even sobriety

So don't lie to me, if you need to leave

I've seen the finest men, need to heave

And distribute their guts across my hall way floor

With disgust, so before we take our tour

Be sure, stay close, extra tight

Geoffery – fetch our guest a pipe!

And prepare the lab you wretched tyke!

Damned monkey butler, best get this right

Special guests tonight? You're completely certain?

Then step to the right as a draw back the curtain for some...

ANIMAL MAGIC

Now you see

The myriad wonders of nature it's true

Can be understood fully in my home made zoo

By brain swapping with my cranial cutter

I created my apeish butler

And like any explorer forging new boundaries

I found this astounding and took me an owl beak and wings

Grafted to a tortoise shell

And now my Owltoise is doing quite well

No my Chimpangoat's not the prettiest of creatures

My Donkeypede has the silliest of features

My Lobsteroos don't like their claws-

And my Batraffes do fly into doors

But until you've heard the Badgermingo sing

Or fed a tiny fish to a baby Marmoquin…

My dear sir or madam you've never lived

It's an impressive gift- so treasure this...

ANIMAL MAGIC

Hold for a second- I'm not joking

This cage should not be open

My Camelion might be hiding loose

Oh god, so's the stripy Tigoose

And yes they're stunning and yes they're wonderous

But they're cunning and they might come for us

If there's rumpus, you're able to run I trust?

Geoffery- fetch me my blunderbuss

Oh No! Don't tell me you're using this mutiny?

I just wanted unity- what will you do to me?

Trapped. Beheaded. Oddly sickened

They attached my head to the body of a chicken

Run for your life, they're on a mad stampede

Leaving me combined be combined betwixt man and beast

BAACLUCK! So strange so odd

In retrospect, perhaps a mistake to play god