[Verse 1: Jake]
I'm gonna get you a big balloon
A box of chocolates and some cheap perfume
Happy Valentine's Day to you
Hope it's better than mine
'Cause my dog's about to die, yeah
Got her back when I was 15
My parents split up so they gave her to me
My consolation prize, a real dream (Dream, dream)
But she always liked my momma better

[Chorus: Jake]
'Cause I don't even care what my best friends are doing
I'm in bed with the devil and I kinda need a drink
Let's take a shot of holy water, lay it all to waste
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away (Oh!)

[Verse 2: Jake, with Nathan]
I'm worried about Britney Spears
It's pretty fucked up how her dad runs her life
I wish my dad was more involved in mine
But not like that, really not like that, yeah
My girlfriend's at Coco's house
She's basically the nicest person
Really wish I could be like that
But I'm not like that, really not like that
[Chorus: Jake & Nathan]
I don't even care what my best friends are doing
I'm in bed with the devil and I kinda need a drink
Let's take a shot of holy water, lay it all to waste
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away

[Bridge: All]
I just smoked a whole pack of Parliaments
I wanna go back to partying
Even though I'm old
Remember hangin' out at Grumpy's?
Chillin' with some dudes in their forties
They always had my back
But never had their own

[Pre-Chorus: Jake]
Kinda wonder what they're doing now
If they had dogs and they had to put 'em down
Hope my girl's somewhere barkin' in the clouds
With her dead pet friends
Where their love don't end

[Chorus: Jake & Nathan]
I don't even care what my best friends are doing
I'm in bed with the devil and I kinda need a drink
Let's take a shot of holy water, lay it all to waste
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away
I'm a bad dream, baby and I'll never go away