Today's the day
That your mom's vag was on display
Your fat fuck-face slipped out
And I wish you would have stayed

'Cause it's just your birthday
Why do we even celebrate?
Screw your dinner party
I'll just stay home and masturbate
I went to CVS and bought the first card I saw
It said congrats on that Torah reading
Fucking mazel tov
I could've tried to get a reasonable gift
But you don't deserve it
And I don't really give a shit
I didn't respond to the first RSVP
Take a hint you dumb broad
And please stop reminding me

'Cause we don't care that it's your birthday
Don't you see?
So stop polluting us with all these photos on our feed

You're not a child anymore
You blew those candles like a whore
I don't care that it's your birthday