[Verse 1: Dirty Dike]
I owe my mate's mum a bit of gardening
Chill with her son and yo I still beg your pardoning
Lazy little shitbag
Naked in a wigwam
I paid to get a ticket, still break in with a wristband
Maybe you're a big man
Perhaps you've done a bit of bird
Maybe you're the type of man to slap about a bit of skirt
Either that or some kind of dickhead with the fitted words
To wriggle out the thinnest situation when it thickens first
I know that you're the biggest of pricks
Cos you're listening to this
With your missus and kids
Getting sticky as a Rizla hitting whiskey and spliffs
Head spinning like a Frisbee in a twister the bits
So listen to this
Shove a pair of scissors in your gob
Pull your pants down and fucking scare the missus with your nob
Get delicious with the cod
I'm never fishing with a rod
I'll be getting in the kipper like I'm pickling the lot

[Verse 2: Lunar C]
Yo
Smoking a spliff with a pregnant bitch at a bus-stop
Whether I pass it on all depends on if I get sucked off
'Bout to spend the child benefits at the pub hop
Back on the bus to hers and tell her kids they can FUCK OFF!
Raid their lunchbox just to jack a jam sandwich
Vag magnet
I'm leavin' your gatty slab slanted
Dab hand with a slapper's fanny, I'm fantastic
Stash my package in a fat lass' back passage
Make these rappers feel inferior when Lunar's here
There ain't no-one to compare me to
It's too unfair
Chewing there, gurning
A dreadlock in my pubic hair
Holding up a cardboard sign saying "it's rude to stare"
Stoned and lazy, never on top form
They kicked me out of school and told me I'm a lost cause
So many wrong thoughts in my brain it's gone warped
I watch porn with a limp dick eating popcorn
[Verse 3: Dr Syntax]
If rappers are like MS-DOS
I'm the next Xbox
Quicker, more game...
Sinners, pure flames
Disagree I bet you're more ignorant than redneck cops
And that's word to Big Bird and Thora Hird
Me killing it as standard as verse chorus verse chorus verse
Awesome work
Unless you're a boring nerd
And all you heard was distorted dirt
In which case
Do us all a big favour
Push a switchblade
In your rib cage
With haste
Fuck your mixtape
You a bitch, mate
Go eat some fingers fishcakes with your shit mates
It's a testosterone fuelled romp
Your boo wants some hot goo like she's got the fondue on
Ooh. Wrong
Too. Strong
New. Song
Huge. Thong
[Verse 4: Pete Cannon]
I bring the bangers, its ya boy known as Pete Cannon
One look at me girls get the wet salmon
You rap multisyllable bars with bare boys
I do a show, fuck a sket and nick her sex toys
Like I wanna hear thoughts in my rap music
Fuck you with your dick, this is rap music
It's easily to the bant, this is rap music
Balls out when I rap, this is rap music
I was digging before you had pubes donny
You sample MP3s you fucking goon dummies
Know I'm as hip-hop as hard as it comes
Keep a spare one in my house, just to grate to my drums
I keep it one way only. Fresh haircut
Trimmed up beard and some Mach3 nuts
Master of all trades, yeah you're damn right sluts
I do the beats, do the bars, do the mix and do the cuts
WHAT!?