Are you feeling down boy
Do I see a frown boy
I know of a place you can go if you feel blue
The staff are there to please you
Titilate and tease you
There's a lass called Mona
She'll give you a boner
Just around the corner
There's a neon sign
Topless bar girls every Tuesday 6pm til 9

At the Titty Bar
There's dancers on the poles
At the Titty Bar
There are sluts and moles
At the Titty Bar
It isn't far
You dont even need your car
That's cos it's your local Titty Bar

Where everybody knows your name (And if they dont then you dont care)
And they're always glad you came (And if you dont then they dont care)

The bouncers have no necks boy
Put away that sex toy
You will get us kicked out
If you keep your dick out
Oi! hey you no touching
Thought I said no touching
Seriously no touching
Get your damn hands off me

In a dark back alley
We lay bashed and bruised
Not since Friends season 7
Have we felt so abused

At the Titty Bar
I am filled with grief
At the Titty Bar
No more hand relief
At the Titty Bar
I have a scar
I can't open this cookie jar
We need to find another
So I will call your mother
Cos she works at another Titty Bar