*Opens on two men sitting by the campfire*

#1: Yo dude, have you ever heard of Big Chungus?

#2: No, who's Big Chungus, man?

#1: Yo, you don't know who Big Chungus is!?

#2: No, man...? He's like, wh-- what is he?

#1: Dude Big Chungus, ok, Big Chungus is the biggest Chungus of all! And I'm not talking no, like, small Chungus, I'm talking, like, a BIG Chungus.

#2: Yo dude, I-- I never heard of him, man. It's--it's like, it's crazy. I mean, how big is he?

#1: I can't believe you've never heard of him, man! They're, like, talking about him in schools and stuff! It's, like, all over the news! He's just a big Chungus!

#2: What's--what's a Chungus, man?

#1: He's just Big Chungus! So have you ever heard of the story of Big Chungus, like, you've probably heard it somewhere, but just didn't really know who I'm talking about. Like, you didn't reckon his name, you know?

#2: Nah, man, I've never heard anything about Big Chungus, or some, some man living in the wild. Never heard of him.

#1: Dude that's crazy! Well, I'ma tell you the story cuz you need to know the story, man, this is like, common knowledge, man!

#2: Oh, really? Wow, I mean, I gotta know man! I gotta know about Big Chungus now.

#1: So, Big Chungus: he lived, he's pretty recent. So what happened man: so there was just this nice little skinny bunny in the forest, right? This bunny was, like, notoriously skinny. Like, all his friends, whenever they were talking about their bunny friend they would always call him the skinny bunny cuz he's a skinny bunny and it was just like, "yo man, look at that skinny bunny, he's just so skinny"...

#2: Wow man, but isn't this story about Big Chungus not a skinny Chungus?

#1: Well, yeah man, but it's like, it's just like... you'll, you'll see as the story progresses. So all his friends used to call him just skinny, right? But, so you know, every--every--every summer solstice, every--every animal in the wild goes into this little thing called migration. Where basically, they go into their glacier and, you know, they just chill there, eat some food, stock up, you know, for the-- for the whole summer, right?

#2: Yeah, man, yeah I know about migration, it's, uh, it's pretty leet.

#1: So yeah man, so what happened was there was Big Chungus, right? This skinny bunny... he's gone through migration a bunch of times. So, he's just pretty normal, right? But he hasn't gotten any bigger, cuz usually animals get pretty big right after-- migra-- right after they come out of migration.

#2: Yeah, man, it's just like, obvious, you know?

#1: Yeah, man. So, Big Chungus, see? He never does. So people are just expecting him to come back as Skinny Chungus in the spring, you know? So what happened was that Skinny Chungus said goodnight to all his friends, and goodbye, and "I'm gonna go to migration now"... so, yeah. He just went into his, like, little icicle cave, and he was just chilling there, I mean, he stocked up on a bunch of food. Normal amount of food, you know? It wasn't too different than his normal amount of food, man.

#2: All right, yeah yeah yeah, I'm following...

#1: So, yeah. So then what happened was Big Chungus was just like, eating, and what happened was that he ate a lot of food during this winter. Cuz usually, he eats, like, a normal amount of food.

#2: Yeah, man, normal amount of food...

#1: So yeah, he ate... the same amount of food. But in the, in the spring, he woke up, and he didn't really realize at first cuz they're are no mirrors in his cave, you know?

#2: Yeah, man, they're's no mirrors in the bat cave.

#1: Yeah. So, so he came out--, he came out of his little igloo right here, and he, and he went to go say hi to all his friends. And his friends were just in awe, and he had no idea why! Cuz he didn't really notice what had happened to him. So then he kinda looked around, looked down at himself, and felt his weight a little bit, and then he realized, "yo, I'm BIG!!"

#2: So, yeah, man. He--he's big? So that's how he became Big Chungus and this was a story about Big Chungus all along!?

#1: Yeah, man, it was all about Big Chungus. He was skinny, but now he's big! And all his animal friends were just like "wha--, yo Chungus, you're just so BIG!" And then, so his animal friends were talking, and they were going, like, crazy, and they were just like "oh my god, man, Big Chungus is BIG!" And then they started calling him Big Chungus cuz they couldn't call him Little Chungus no more! Cuz he was just--, he was just a big fat man, you know? He was a big bunny. And yeah, so then it ca--, it kinda came onto the news. The animals were telling all the--all the police reporters, and all that, you know, man?

#2: Yeah I know, I know...

#1: So, yeah. So they were telling everyone, and it was going crazy, and then what happened was: a-- the whole world started to find out about Big Chungus! And how he was a skinny man, but he just became big, right? So yeah, that's kinda the story of the Big Chungus, man!

#2: Yeah, uh, that's a leet story man! So he just kinda, went into migration, and he came out and he was a big fat man!

#1: Yeah, man, he was just, like, a big fat bunny when he came out of migration. And it's pretty crazy, I'm gonna be honest. So yeah, that's the story about Big Chungus. I'm kinda--, I'm kinda surprised that you never knew that before, man.

#2: Yeah, man, I mean, I've never heard that in my life, you know? It's just, it's pretty crazy.

#1: Yeah, so yeah, that's just, that's the story of Big Chungus, man, yeetus.


[Instrumental outro]