[Verse 1]
I was crying in my room
Facing my imminent doom
I’m depressed
And that god damn towel sucks
I made a bank deposit
Then I went into a closet
I took a dump
And that god damn towel sucks

[Chorus]
She had a penis
It made me sad
She kissed her elbow
And it made me mad
I took a crap
It smelled so foul
And I realized
It was the god damn towel

[Bridge]
I’m gone
She’s in a wheelchair and it really turns
Me on
She was sitting there in her wheelchair
I ate too much steak
And I’m about to break

[Outro]
I’m depressed, I’m full, and she’s gone
I’m depressed, I’m full, and she’s gone