[Verse 1]
Well I was sad drinking at an Irish pub
And then a hottie came up to me and gave my back a rub
She said “don’t be sad, man, don’t feel down”
Then I saw her smile and it washed away my frown
I was happy now
For the first time in a while
Cuz my pretty little sugar kept a giving me a smile
I was happy and I knew I’d be for the rest of my life
So I bought a nice ring and asked her to be my wife
She had told me she loved me every day
Then one time, we were walking and the sky was grey
Then my baby came out, then she said “hey
You’re my honey, I love you, but I’m just too damn gay”
So I cried, I cried, I felt like I’ve died
I felt so sad, cuz my baby had lied
And now she had left, and now she was long gone
And it was real trucking hard when I tried to move on
So I told a therapist, and she felt real bad
She said “I’m real finna sorry dude, cuz now you’re sad”
And then she said I gotta work on me
Cuz I got a deep ass hole where my heart should be
Now I felt like I was a heartless monster
I was going Insane, I could have used a doctor
So my best bud gave me her sewing machine
So I sewed a nice hat, I’m like hey this is neat
Yo, this could be
A profession for me
And I was having so much fun, I was filled with glee
I liked making hats, so I made a few more
Then all these other people started piling at my door
They asked “how much for this one?”
And “how much for that?”
And I was pretty flattered that they wanted my hats
I said “a hunnid for that one, a hunnid for this”
Then I went to the bathroom, I took a nice piss and I thought

[Chorus]
I love making these hats
Anything from tops to caps
(Yo I love making these hats they’re so nice)
(I love making these hats they’re so nice)
I love making these hats
Anything from tops to caps
Honey I don’t think I can get any madder
Hey Alice, guess what? Baby, I’m the mad hatter, now

[Verse 2]
So I worked, and worked, I worked my ass off
To give these people hats, and I was getting cap offs
Cuz I made the best hats in the whole damn city
And I remembered back to when my hats were so shitty
And now I was feeling better, and I was starting to cope
With my loss
But these hats they gave me hope
So I made them too excessively, and I was going crazy
Don’t know about the next part, that’s a little hazy
But all I remember is I made a ton of money
I was the richest finna, I had a lot of honeys
But this whole business was making me mad
And so my mind was going crazy, and I started to be sad
This was too intense, so I had to stop
I had to drop
This and then my companies stock
Went down
And it brought a lot of people to frowns
But I was feeling fine, and then here I am saying this now:

[Chorus]
I love making these hats
Anything from tops to caps
(Yo I love making these hats they’re so nice)
(I love making these hats they’re so nice)
I love making these hats
Anything from tops to caps
Honey I don’t think I can get any madder
Hey Alice, guess what? Baby, I’m the mad hatter, now