[Intro: Narrator]
Very Smurt
'The Scarn' featuring Big Bird a.k.a Gang Gang Lucille
Parody of "The Scarn" from Threat Level Midnight, I think

[Verse 1: Very Smurt]
Well
My name’s very smurt and I’m here to say
Ima finna do the scarn in a major way
I came here to win, not to play
And to make all you haters my prey
Well
I’m here right now with the biggest bird
And she always spitting all the fire words
Now I’m memeing all these haters, yo I meme em out of sight
Cuz if you gonna meme em all you oughta do it right
Finna game end haters while they sleeping
Got all them little kiddos Finna weeping
In the middle of the night I’m creeping
Break in and say I’m just housekeeping
Finna oughta fly a kite
Finna whip em up a sprite
Finna dropping all these references just like I’m fricking Dwight
I ain’t changing up the rhymes cuz they super tight
And all the haters better know my threat level’s midnight, yo

[Hook: Steve Carell as Michael Scott as Michael Scarn & Ensemble]
You jump to the right, and you shake that hand
Then you jump to the left, and you shake that hand
Meet new friends, tie that yarn
That's how you do the Scarn, boom!

[Hook: Steve Carell as Michael Scott as Michael Scarn, ^Ensemble^, (Pam), [Jim], {Very Smurt}, |David Koechner as Todd Packer|]
You jump to the right, and you shake that [*laughs*] hand
Then you jump (Sh, stop!) to the left, {Shh! The song is on!} and you shake that hand
Meet new friends, tie that yarn
That's how you do the Scarn, boom!
|If doing 'the Scarn' is gay, then I'm the biggest queer on Earth!|
[*laughs again* sorry, I'm really sorry]
*Turns the TV off*
^Michael...--*

[Interlude: Very Smurt]
Michael, you don’t know what you just did? You paused it at big birds verse I’m going to destroy you. I’m going to actually obliterate you if you do not resume the song RIGHT NOW. Thank you

[Verse 2: Big Bird]
What's up it's Big Bird? Yeah, you already heard
I be staying winning, yo, first, second, third
I'm so advanced, y'all ain't got no chance
I'm getting off-track, so here's the dance
Jump to the left, then jump to the right
Then tie that yarn, yeah, tie it real tight
Do the dance (?) and you tie it around
Then you pose real cool, don't be a clown
I met this old man a long time ago
He taught me how to dance without hitting the woah
This old man, he said to me
I'll teach you to dance, but it'll cost a fee
So I gave him all the money I had
Now I can dance better than your grandad
I can teach you myself if you want
My curve game's strong just like a croissant