Sometimes it's too hot, sometimes it's too cold
You gotta split the diff, split the diff
I don't like 'em young, but I don't like 'em old
You gotta split the diff, split the diff

We can't hear you whisper but it's loud when you shout (when you shout)
Somewhere in the middle is the perfect amount (perfect amount)
Stevie Ray Vaughn or a death metal riff
Don't be such a dick, motherfucking split the diff!

Too much is too much, but a little bit sucks
You gotta split the diff, split the diff
Some people screw, and others just fuck
You gotta split thе diff, split the diff

Mayonnaise is fattening, but mustard's too strong (much too strong)
Six inchеs is too small, but a footlong's too long (that shit is too long)
Do you want Skippy or some creamy fucking Jif?
A shitload of Smuckers, motherfucker split the diff!

Split the diff
Life is like a chick - the good stuff's in the middle
Split the diff
A viola comes between a cello and a fiddle
I'm not from 'burbs, I'm not from the ghetto
I'm not Heath Ledger and I ain't Jared Leto
Split the diff
Split the diff

Sometimes it's too hot, sometimes it's too cold
You gotta split the diff, split the diff
I don't like 'em young, but I don't like 'em old
You gotta split the diff, split the diff

No one likes a forest, but don't shave it all off (shave it bald)
I don't play Lacrosse, but it's too hot for golf (I lost my ball)
Should you send a .jpeg or email a .tiff?
A .pdf is better, motherfucking split the diff!

Split the diff
Split the diff