Eddie Benjamin
The One Fierce Beer Coaster Hidden Track
There was a certain place at school, where everyone who smoked hung out. You didn't even have to talk. You could just ask for a light or a cigarette. I hated the first one. But it became part of my routine, of who I was

I would like to finally find out the truth, to find out what happened to my son's brain
-and not too much upstairs, but from here on down, gangbusters!
The discovery gives scientists hope that they are closer to unravelling the causes of Lupus
How big does your penis get?
I coulda spread peanut butter on my ass-
-And you wake up with sticky pajamas
No room for me on the sofa as usual, I'll have to sit on the rickety chair
Is that what's got you down in the dumps, J, homeboy?

You cannot be partaking of the Lord's table and of the devil's table-and of the-and of the table of Devil. You can't say "I believe in God, I believe in Christ, I love Christ!" ...and eat pork, go to church, wear pants, be a faggot. You cannot drink the cup of the Lord and the cup of the Devil. You can't mix this, man. You're either-you're-you're either down with this program, or you're gonna be with the white man! It's either-or! It's either-or!
You can't mix this, you can't say "Well, I got some white friends and I got some black friends!" because then there's gonna be a time of war soon! Anarcho-Anarchy's about to hit on! So what you gonna do, you gonna choose? You n***as like to hold hands with the white man, Chinese and Japanese, and you can't even hold hands in Harlem! If you can prove that you're black, I'll give you a hundred dollars! Right now! But you n***as can't do it!

Hi, Matt, this is Naomi. You know what? I wan't Jim. Why can't I have him? I-I don't understand why he doesn't want me. Because... I-I'm incredible, you don't even know, I... I'm just, like, the shit. Because, I'm just, like, all that. I don't know, like, I'm just... nobody better than me. I'm just incredible. I'm- I'm one stylin' motherfucker. A-and... I just don't understand, because I-um, I am! And I just don't understand. I don't know, and... I don't know, and...
I-I don't know, because I'm just... everything. I'm just, well, everything. I'm... I'm everything, I don't know... I'm everything
I'm, like, one stylin' mothafucka, I'm, like, y-you don't even know. Right now, I have on my- a pair of phat pants and, like... and, like, a pair, like... a pretty shirt. Like, just so... phat. Because... I don't know, I mean not fat like Julie, like phat like... phat. I dunno...
And, uh, I deserve it. I deserve it, because... I'm just all that,-
-Who cares?
-I am. I am
-Motherfucker, what are you doing?
-You threw up, I know you did-
-Hi, John!
-I know you threw up...
-How ya doin!
-I know you threw up
-You see that bitch?
-I know you threw up. I know you threw up
-You threw up!
-She's upset! She could have called her friends on the-
-I know you threw up! I know you threw up!
-Whatever, dude
-I know you threw up! You did! What, you were like, drooling all over the place, and like, went up to the bathroom, and threw up! And you were out there for, like, fifteen minutes... You threw up, I know you did! You can't even deny it!
-Want me to get you another one?
-Are- You can't even deny it
-Want me to get you another one?
-You threw up! You threw up
-I'll give it to you good
-Admit it, you threw up!
-You're just jealous!
-You threw up. I can smell it on your breath, I can smell it on your breath... you threw up
-No, I didn't
-Yes you did
-What are you doin'... come on
-No-
Matt, this is Naomi, why aren't you home? I wanna talk to you, because, um, now, 'cause... I've been drinking too much, and I want Jim... I want him... I want him so much. I can't have him, it's so unfair. I mean, like, other people happy. I'm not happy, 'cause I don't have him. 'Cause, he's, like, incredible. And I don't know why, because... he's really like nothing, but yet... it's incredible. He has a hairy chest, which is kind of foul, but... it's all right, 'cause it's Jim. 'Cause I want him a lot. a lot

Girls and boys have the same problem, and there's a normal, natural solution. It's called "playing with yourself," or masturbating
-The three-hundred pounds, that doesn't bother you?
-'Course not--every hole must be filled
At one stage, she even took her bra off-
[?]
Erections happen when your penis becomes stiff, often because you've been thinking about girls!
You know you ain't hard enough yet, motherfucker!

White man's a faggot by nature! You can't change that--it's a law in the Bible, a law that God instituted! You know why? Because if you don't put a faggot to death, a faggot's gonna... it's gonna be a cancer that grows! That's why you got AIDS upon the earth, 'cause there's no order in America! There isn't no order, ain't nobody following this Bible! You're following the so-called "white man's laws," but you can't follow God's laws!

Now, with this cue lower back here, there's no way it would work, seven would just carry him off this way. But with this cueball backing it up, it seems to add enough weight to bulldoze right through. And it looks something like this!

(Glad we got this one.) This is gonna be a good one, too! Hold on, I mean, get the microphone right. ([?] gotta get on the mic.) Here we go! Oof! (farting into microphone, coughing) I think I just gave birth!
[?]
[?]
BONE SMUGGLER!
That's it, boys and girls, good night!