[Verse 1]
They say to have her hair done
Liz flies all the way to France
Jackie's seen in a discotheque
Doin' a brand new dance
And the White House social season
Should be glittering and gay
But here in Topeka, the rain is a-falling
The faucet is a-dripping and the kids are a-bawlin'
One of them is toddlin' and one is a-crawlin' and
One's on the way

[Verse 2]
I'm glad that Raquel Welch
Just signed a million dollar pact
Debbie's out in Vegas
Workin' up a brand new act
While the TV's showin' Newlyweds
A rеal fun game to play
But here in Topеka, the screen door's a-bangin'
The coffee's boilin' over and the wash needs a-hangin'
One wants a cookie and one wants a changin' and
One's on the way

[Bridge]
What was I doing? Judy, get away from there
Darn, there goes the phone
Hello, honey, what's that you say?
You're bringin' a few Army buddies home?
You're callin' from a bar? Get away from there!
No, not you, honey, I was talkin' to the baby
Honey, could you stop at the store on your way home and—
Hello? Hello? Hello? Hello?
Well, I'll be
[Verse 3]
The girls in New York City
They all march for women's lib
Better Homes and Gardens shows
A modern way to live
And the pill may change the world tomorrow
But meanwhile, today
Here in Topeka, the rain is a-falling
Dog is a-barkin' and the floor needs a-scrubbin'
One of them is toddlin' and one is a-crawlin' and
One's on the way

[Outro]
Oh gee, I hope it ain't twins again