I know a girl who thinks of ghosts
She'll make you breakfast, she'll make you toast
But she don't use butter
And she don't use cheese
She don't use jelly, or any of these
She uses Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline

I know a guy who goes to shows
When he's at home an' he blows his nose
He don't use tissues
Or his sleeves
He don't use napkins, or any of these
He uses Magazines
Magazines
Magazines
Magazines

I know a girl who reminds me of Cher
She's always changin' the color of her hair
But she don't use nothin', That you buy at the store
She likes her hair to, be real orange
She uses Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines
Tangerines