Hello, stranger
(Why, hello there, stranger)
Ah, could you tell me how far it is to Little Rock?
(Well no sir I couldn't, buddy, but they's a devil of a big'n down here in Pap's old field)

Hello, stranger
(Why, hello again, stranger)
Your corn looks awful little and yellow
(Ah, I planted the little yellow kind this year)
Well, you must not be figuring on much more than half a crop, are ya?
(That's exactly right, I'm raisin' on the shares, 50/50)
You couldn't be very far from a fool
(Couldn't be what?)
Very far from a fool
(That's right, son, just this microphone here between us)

Hello, stranger
(Why, hello there, stranger)
How did your potatoes turn out?
(Son, you'll have to speak a little louder, I don't hear too well out of this left ear)
I said how did your taters turn out!
(Oh, my taters. They didn't turn out a'tall, the old sow rooted them out)

Hello, stranger
(Hello, there, stranger)
Would you head that cow there for me?
(Buddy, she's got a head)
Well, turn her, then
(The hairy side's turned out)
Well, would you speak to her?
(Good morning, old heifer)
Hello, stranger
(Why, hello there, stranger)
Why don't you cover your house?
(Well, when it's raining I can't, buddy, and when the sun is shining it don't leak)

Hello, stranger
(Hello, there, stranger)
How far did you say it was to Little Rock?
(Buddy, ain't you found out how far it is yet?)
I can't, I can't find out a'tall
(Well, I'm sure glad to tell you, buddy, it's three lengths of a fool. If you don't believe it, lay down and measure it sometime)