[Intro]
Go go go go go go
Go on love, it's my birthday
You look tarty love, it's my birthday
I'll buy you a bacardi love, it's my birthday
And you know I'm having a laugh, it's not my birthday

[Hook]
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed

[Verse 1]
When I pull up out front you see my vauxhall nova
When I hit the bar it's ten pints before I'm over
I came to watch the game 'cause I'm a blackburn rover
And I munch on M&Ms while I'm downing Smirnova
But only nothing's changed cash down bottoms up
And I got a paper cut from rolling my rizzla up
If you watch how I move you'll mistake me for a geez or a gimp
'Cause I fell down my stairs and now I walk with a limp
In the crap bits of Watford they say 50 you hot
They like me I want them to love me like lesbian pop
But go to Hemel Hempstead and they'll tell you I'm crazy
'Cause I once got drunk and humped a statue of a lady
But I'm fully focused now, tea and coffee on my mind
Got a part time job in the daily grind
Now this girl yeah she likes my hair she likes my car
Her friend is fit but she's as ugly as tar
[Hook]
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed

[Bridge]
My girlfriend's mum gave me the cash
That bought me all my fancy stuff
My couch, my fridge, my plates, my weights
Look mate I'm tied down but I ain't changed

[Verse 2]
And you should love it way more than I hate it
You're like my dad, your fashion sense is outdated
I'm that bloke by the bar when I'm on my round
You're that weird guy who never leaves or makes a sound
When the beats are pumping I get my macarena on
My mates drag me to my chair before the end of the song
If the roof's on fire someone dial nine-nine-nine
And if you wanna get drunk love it isn't a crime
I'll tell you what I tell every girl - you're fit, nice hair
If you don't wanna rush it, here's another Red Square
Or I could tell my mates I'll be round the back with a Kronenbourg
They'll know where we [fucking] be yeah
[Hook]
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed
You can find me in the pub with a pint of bud
Look love I got a fiver if you let me see your jugs
I'm into playing darts, I ain't into growing shrubs
So come fill up my mug before my fag gets stubbed

[Outro]
Don't act like you don't know where I've been either mum
In the pub all the time mum
It's about to pop off mum
Burn Unit