I remember hiding my liquor in the travel mug as I walked down
To the old church where I had surrendered
My day’s freedom to fuck with the sound
Play an old song, turn all the mics on
So all your friends and family hear your vows
For you to jump on a train I’d soon be off
If we could only get our feet to the ground

And all your friends, they all gather around you
I take another gulp and turn up the volume
They’re all praising Jesus for making you brand new
Despite your last name, you look exactly the same to me

Out of town friends came crashing the party
We talked about what we’d all done differently
Two star buffets, running through the rain
Desperate for anything to make me feel clean

Well, now you are smiling, I know you’ve been lying
It’s okay, babe, we’ve gotta convince our friends
Till one of them touched me, assuring the feeling
I knew suddenly we were nearing the end

Then all the guests, they start beating their glassware
Till the couple kisses and applause chokes out our air
We’ll surely miss them for the next 60 years
Though we are still here, it seems that love makes you disappear
Oh now they get up and pull us aside
Saying, “friends, isn’t love such a beautiful ride?”
I try not to shrug, say, “sure, man, it’s fine,”
Take the quickest route outside

Where all the birds are picking seed from the sidewalk
My speech is slurred but I keep trying hard to talk
You’ve lost your patience for the crooked way I walk
Though you say we’re fine, you keep on constantly checking the time