(Written by Rogers-Hart, some ad lib by RLJ)

My funny valentine
Sweet comic valentine
You make me smile with my heart
Your looks are laughable, they're un-photographable
But still, still you're my favorite work of art

Is your figure less than Greek?
Is your mouth a little weak?
When you open it to speak, baby, are you smart?
Please, don't change a hair for me
Not if you care for me
Stay my funny valentine, stay
Each day is my Valentine's Day