[Verse 1]
I was sitting in a breakfast room in Allentown, Pennsylvania
Six o'clock in the morning
Got up too early, it was a terrible mistake
Sittin' there face-to-face with a 75¢ glass of orange juice about as big as my finger
And a bowl of horribly fore-shortened corn flakes
And I said to myself, "This is the life… "

[Chorus]
She's 200 years old
So mean, she couldn't grow no lips
She's 200 years old
So mean, she couldn't grow no lips
(Boy, she'd be in trouble if she tried to grow a mustache)

[Verse 2]
She's 200 years old
Squatting down
And poppin' up in front of the juke box
Like she had true religion, boy
She's 200 years old
Squattin' down
Poppin' up front o' the juke box
Just like she'd had true religion, boy
Boy, boy, it's 200 years
Half of this, none of that
Was 50, oh squat, yeah, oh, now
She got religion now, boy
[Chorus]
Oh, she's 200 years old
Oh, she told me
She just, she just can't grow no lips
Squat down
So mean she can't grow no lips
200 years old, whaddya mean she can't grow no lips…

[Outro]
Squattin' down
Poppin' up 'n down at the juke box
OWW!
She got the true religion, boy
Boy