All my neighbours are fast asleep
And I can't find anything to drink
McKenzies drank all the grain alcohol
So I'm headed down the street to first call

Me and the Bads were staying up late
Kitty and Victor got dropped from the plate
But no one was contented with the Wednesday wassail
So I said it's only four short blocks to first call

Not a walk of shame it's a walk of pride
People going to work while we're getting cock-eyed
The sun's coming up, drinks are going down
So shut the fuck up and I'll get the next round

[Chorus]
6am, we'll start all over again
No one applying the brakes
We'll stop the sweats and the shakes
We're gonna eat pickled egg
We're gonna see Toby Jeg
We're not gonna let sun light have effect on our fun

It smells like bleach, adult diapers and mould
And everyone around me's over 60 years old
But we're gonna share the next hour or two
We all got each other and nothing better to do
Irish coffee, and Irish car bomb
A fat drunk Jew starts singing this song
I take a closer look and the fat guy is me
So I buy him a shot, and he buys me back three

[Chorus]

All my neighbors are fast asleep
And I can't find anything to drink
The Loved Ones drank all of my alcohol
So I'm gonna be the very first one at first call