[Intro]
Fun things to fuck
Fun things to fuck (fuck)
Fun things to fuck
Fun things to fuck

[Verse]
Fuck the front door
Fuck the back
Fuck the good girls with the knack
Fuck the government
Until they fuck you back
Fuck a muslim, fuck a jew
Fuck fans of Blink-182
That's illegal if you're born in '83
Yeah yeah yeah
Fuck a bean and cheese burrito
Fuck a bowl of cookie dough
Fuck the space between the big and neighbor toe
Fuck a cop
Fuck a machine
Fuck a jar of Vaseline
Fuck a calzone with pepperoni

[Outro]
Fuck a midget
Fuck a dwarf
Fuck Kris Kringle with an elf
But before you fuck it all
Go fuck yourself