[Intro]
Banned from the bar and barred from the club
And clubbed by the cops for copping some drugs
Drugged down the street by his self-abuse
A candy-man hanging from a self-tied noose
-ance in public with panties and bra-hies
Not like the beaver of Harriet and Ozzies
He's the bastard son of the Colonel Kurtz
Lucille Ball-buster, crystal meth-el Mertz

[Verse 1]
I wasn't born this way, I was raised
Not by wolves but by Jews I was guilted and hazed
A middle class clown waging lower class war
A Beverly hillbilly peeled off the floor

[Pre Chorus 1]
The erratic irreverent reverend that wreaks
Havoc and wreckage whenever he speaks
I'm not the first, I'm your last second shot
A film about grave robbing without a plot

[Chorus 1]
Throwing a party? I'll Darby Crash it
My Captain's Sensibilities tells me to smash it
I am the shit smeared in your pillowcase
I'm not the texting, I'm the upper case
[Verse 2]
Ranting and cursing, he sings in the third person and then
I'll catch myself and start singing about me again

[Pre Chorus 2]
Because of your harelip I shaved your mustache
Your Donner party has just been darby crashed
I'm anti-Christ, the unoriginal sin
The ten months of relevant Johnny Rotten

[Chorus 2]
I am the victim in victimless crimes
Painting the town red between the lines
Losing is delightful, when you always win
That's why I push my chips GG All-in