I kiss you and I can taste the girlhood I never had
I was dead for 26 years
I feel so, so stupid for waiting
That I am so close to giving up
It's ontological fate
Every transition is done too late

And the boys want her but pretend they don't
And write her love letters concealed as threats
And she stops coming to school
And maybe has a quiet overdose
And drops out into camming
And she has a friend like her, and she's broken too
But even when we were assaulted, again and again
It's better to be broken together
Even death is tolerable if there is truth, and we're truth
And I am so scared that all this possible pain
Is still better than being a corpse in a closet
Waiting for right moment, not for me, for everybody else
And even more scared that I did know, but pretended I didn't
A safe and slow rot seems good enough
Right up to the moment of birth

I wish I always were me
Because hell is fine if I am woman there too
And hell is my truth