[Intro]
Ah
Greetings, young soldier
Come, join me by the fire
And let me regale you with tales of what the fuck is cracking

[Verse]
We're in an ancient time
We face an ancient threat
Civilisation's never dreamt this kind of danger yet
Historians are self-assured
But they forget the daily tribulations
Of the cases from the place and age who met
Mythological creatures
With the oddest of features
At this moment there's no place
Fricking horrid as Greece is
Until I cross the seas to Egypt
And see that
When they say they've got a problem
They really mean it

For Prometheus
It seems that getting me's the easiest
Way they could alleviate the evil that is bleeding us
But I'm one of leagues of heroes
You best believe in us
It takes every drop of faith to battle evil thus
I tackled hell fire
To travel to Delphi
And fight what I find
From Jackalmen to Telkines
I leave at least ten beastmen deceased, dead
Each second
'Cause I reckon they don't really even need breath
I cleave heads like a watermelon
Before telling a merchant
Whatever he still hasn't bought, I'm selling
I've got to get the loot
The best produced
So I look fricking godlike
Whenever I'm next to you
From Greece to China
You'll never see a finer sort
I keep a pile of horns of Minotaurs
And Gorgon Queens' vaginal walls
Purely for the reason
That I could arrive at home
And write and then recite this vile rhyme for y'all
I never meant to babble on
But when I get to Babylon
I'm still only part way
On the hard path I travel on
You won't find a travelodge
Here in the wilderness
The plains are just as dangerous
As every building is
Filled with a selection of enemies to be killed
And it's down to you how you choose skills
That you will kill them with
Are you built like a brick shit house
Or is using spells more a soothing sound?
Ensure you're choosing well
I'm felling skeletons
As if I'm an elephant
Then a second later
I'm repelling them with elegance
They're in the closet
And I'm burying the evidence
I call the force of nature
Every one of the four elements
I've been through countless winters
Heat that'd burn hell to cinders
Just to lead me now
To the heaving mound at Mount Olympus
I climb and shout
Oi
Come out now and fight the best
Mortal to walk tall
The final bout of Titan Quest

[Outro]
Bards
Now you may just think these are the
Ramblings of a drunken old soldier
And you'd probably be right
But when the shit hits the fan
Whatever a fan is
Don't say I didn't warn you