[Verse]
I used to think wrestling was real
But it was just a big show, muscles and athletic skill
Big deal, it's no biggie
Steel buns and guns are as tight as O'Neills patrons on a Friday night
Whiskey on the rocks
She might be darn young but at least she fucks
I'll undertake a challenge that you may have missed, bro
How many puns of wrestlers' names I could list though?
I force a word to mean another thing
Line after line, page after page punning, I'm the king
But it comes with a cost, it's knackering, I could drop
I need a coffee, kings don't flop
Shall I turn the camera on and bask in the stardust?
Though I'm more at home with a book or tea and a cigar, trust
I've got folders full of bars like gold dust
They sting like the frostbite, I'm stone cold
As defrosting, clearing a path through the mist
'Til I emerge as the victor, just taking care of business
Putting dudes to sleep, making art ruthlessly
It's not a ruse or fad, and Dan goes too, too deep
I'm too cheeky, so I should go for Nando's
I'm Randy, you ought to not ever marry Dan, ho
Breaking vows, breaking down the fourth wall of Jericho
My favourite ever snack when I smoke an L? Doritos!
You Hippie, take another X, save your woods
Chyeah, you so cheesy, this brie better be good
We're in the Colosseum, you're a Christian, I'm a lion
This is my den, you're just another Daniel
Briny seas I row across that make any grand boat
Smash up on those actual banks; "Don't you mean sand though?"
But alas, you're just another Mary damn Rose
Since Adam rose from the sand, he and and bros
Have been attacking, trying to cripple my flow, man
It's a little stark when you attack a Bron strawman
How can you lack ever knowing surf, rolling seas
Without ever growing as a human being
I sail round the horns, while girls sway all round my horn, all over again
Hit you right back to the Roman reigns, archaeologists find remains
On the heaths later, still in loads of pain
Red hot as summer rays, it's a shame it's going to cane
I'll have a bottle of bubbly but then I'm leaving
The jägerbombs are going to my head, I can't even
You should hit the John, seeing as you stepped in something dank
Look at the bottom of your shoe, it's definitely muck, man
And I tell you, I never let you jack swagger from me
Look at my willy, I'm regal to a D
Or even double D, you know me, I'm large
Make you laugh with the triple H: Ha ha ha!
[Outro]
Wrestling is real
Wrestling is real
C'mon
Wrestling is real