[Hook]
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss, or is there something I've missed?
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss?

[Verse 1]
I check out my Twitter feed occasionally
And the shit I see's basically make believe
Peeps claim it's the place to be
But that amazes me, because it tastes of wee
All the food for thought here's the sort to damage you
If it was a restaurant, I'd talk to the manager
Quick, Twitpic, you should have brought your camera
Now breaking a story's a sport for amateurs
And if it's a case of the more the merrier
How witty can you be in 140 characters?
In the days of broadband
I really would have thought that you could have more than that
"Dan, give up the ridiculous voice because you're missing the point
And you're a twat!"
Fair enough, that's freedom of speech
But I wouldn't have thought that from reading your tweets
'Cause each of them seems to be equally
Meaningless sequences of ceaseless frequency
So could you please have the decency
To give your private life a tiny bit of secrecy?
[Hook]
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss, or is there something I've missed?
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss?

[Verse 2]
Once upon a time I was fond of Dom Joly
Before I saw him come across as a dumb wally
He can't cope with the folks that provoke him
And so now Dom's gone off his damn trolley
And that's the folly of the modern celebrity
Act like a twat and everybody sees
I try to be nice, but my mind's in a cycle
Of retweets, e-heaps of shite to recycle
But aside from the gripes it's a quite good site
Though a far flight from the times of the typewriter
Typing "lol looks like a TIE Fighter"
Can acquire more followers than the Pied Piper
My favorite pastime is pasting the @ sign
Before peoples' names and then making up crap rhymes
Aw, that's nice
Nah, I'm just another gasbag with a hashtagged gag in the tagline
You might be thinking "Dan leave", I try
But I keep coming back like Stephen Fry
For a sneak peek into Mr. Bieber's life
From the feedback you'd see that he's the Messiah
But if Jesus Christ preached gospel on Twitter
I believe that the Bible'd be a lot thicker
Even the scribes couldn't even describe
With e-readers, they need to jot quicker
What literary miscellany is there if there's any
We can literally lift from the litany of lists
That are littered ten a penny through the interwebby?
It's a very, very, very, very, little bit shit, innit?
[Hook]
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss, or is there something I've missed?
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss, or is there something I've missed?
600 million people like me like this
Are you taking the piss?