[Verse 1]
Dear Mr. Reed
Thank you for taking a few minutes
To read this missive riddled in mystery
Conceived to ease your disbelief
This city's streets are dripping with intrigue
And the stink of conceit, though dare I say it brings
With it a mystique, a miserable chic
Admittedly, I concede this isn’t your standard work
I am aware it sounds absurd but that's the way the candle burns
‘Til dampened by the putrid pusillanimous manner
The ancient propaganda works
But excuse my lack of good manners
Call me Johannes Van Der Berg

[Hook]
Welcome to our town
You look as if you could use a drink
Bring along those sorrows you can't drown
You can swim or you can sink
What do you think? What do you think?
Welcome to our town
You look as if you could use a drink
Bring along those sorrows you can’t drown
You can swim or you can sink
What do you think?
[Verse 2]
Welcome, welcome, welcome
To the parochial local of Oakmont
Home of the hopeless down and outs
Other towns around us don't want
Resting place of castaways, forsaken and forgotten
Lost, adrift amidst the rotten bits of flotsam
Which have washed up
It's a sodom for the sodden sods whose sullen souls are softened
By the soothing sounds of sirens' sighs
Rising up from rock bottom, the place lies on ley lines
The veins of ancient bloodlines
That flush away the sacred flesh to make way for the flood times
The antediluvian realm of Cthulu is answering to a new axiom
Where anchovies, humans sans sanity
Loom into view with clarity
The Pantheon tell terrible parallel parables
And are washing away any arable land
Unbearable and incomparable pain
No normal mortal can even stand

[Hook]
Welcome to our town
You look as if you could use a drink
Bring along those sorrows you can't drown
You can swim or you can sink
What do you think? What do you think?
Welcome to our town
You look as if you could use a drink
Bring along those sorrows you can't drown
You can swim or you can sink
What do you think?
[Outro]
Welcome to our town
You look as if you could use a drink
Bring along those sorrows you can't drown
You can swim or you can sink
What do you think?